Judith a Rubin an Ugly Duckling Finds the Swans or How I Fell in Love With Art Therapy
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Moving picture: http://tiff.internet/CANADIANFILMENCYCLOPE...
The only reference I tin can find on Holder:
http://www.eai.org/kinetic/ch2/womens...
The difference betwixt Holder, and say, the psychobiographical exposition of Chris Kraus and/or the fictional exegis of Kathy Acker or Judith Rossner'south 'Looking for Mr Goodbarr' : well. The similarities first. All written by neurotic nymphomaniacs in the compact fourth dimension frame of mid 1970s to mid 1980s at the apex of women's l
Sourced: http://www.beaumonde.net/romancebooks...Moving picture: http://tiff.net/CANADIANFILMENCYCLOPE...
The only reference I can find on Holder:
http://www.eai.org/kinetic/ch2/womens...
The divergence betwixt Holder, and say, the psychobiographical exposition of Chris Kraus and/or the fictional exegis of Kathy Acker or Judith Rossner's 'Looking for Mr Goodbarr' : well. The similarities first. All written by neurotic nymphomaniacs in the compact time frame of mid 1970s to mid 1980s at the apex of women's lib and at the tail cease of Greer's 'Eunuch', a examination tube triumph of Tuckman's 'Form Storm Norm Perform ' aegis of pin up feminist emancipation. (Others scriptors of that era employ. When someone pays me for a doctorate mail mortem on feminist jihadism, I'll supply the small print. ) The difference though, and where 'the rub' lies, is that whereas the morass of shock-aholic literary ambulance chasers prior (and post) Holder had capitalised a possible sordid one night stand and a vomit chaser into a alpine tale, Holder really, really, truly, sincerely lived the poete maudit epiphany: her posthumous publication was unintentional and accidental. At no point did this adult female (mysterious, unknown), need to spin a yarn of fiction for anyone's approbation. How practise we fifty-fifty know of her?
What do nosotros even know of her?
I am consumed past curiosity. But there is nothing. Merely her university paper on feminist film higher up, and 'Give Sorrow Words', which is. Is. Is what it is, a bunch of messages this incredibly erudite ex NYC higher professor wrote to her friend (ex partner?)Edith, whilst she (Holder, that is), fucked immature men, drank, smoked, danced, ate, vomited, continuously aborted, and ultimately had her head smashed in in Mexico Metropolis in 1977 at the age of 36.
Or, in other words, whilst everyone else was a fringe actor on the Scene, Maryse Holder was the real McCoy.
This is something indeed. Inevitably fiction tends to be the parlay of voyeurs: east.g the execratable Vollman who 'observed' the underbelly, or Acker the one-half assed stripper for a nighttime or Hand who who never always evers. When Stockett penned 'The help', she was lambasted for beingness a 'whitey' who dares the black troubles. However if we ever get a veteran, say Magnanti (of belle du joeur fame), raconteuring, commercial syrup smears the narrative underlay til no one knows whats what. Merely Holder: with no publisher to flank her on, she revves. A letter of the alphabet to a friend, is thus a memento mori, a testimony of ubiquitous paroxysm, a title act to licentiousness, a memoir of the vida loca.
What was Maryse doing in Mexico anyway? Why couldn't she merely barfly it like Theresa Dunn in NYC and get her head bashed in on her dwelling turf? This function is less of a mystery, admitting it no less sad. At age 33 she is 'terminated' as a university lecturer, and then there is the (lack) of money on one manus to subsidise a NYC bar hopping expedition. Besides, she did seem to need an extra helping manus roping in 'the talent', across what a pint of lager can requite. Her friends describe her as short, obese, with enormous hands and feet, and a facial disfigurement. Add on top some balance middle grade inhibitions of the sort where i doesn't shit in one's own dorsum yard, coupled with a genuine desire to somehow shed the ugly duckling plumage and morph into a swan, and United mexican states begins to look similar a winner. There, she has a fair take a chance at the gigolos who leach on to the expat scene: the latter comprised of a mixture of higher westward coast hippies and failed, discordant, unsettled wanderers (e.chiliad. as per Paul Bowles' the Sheltering Sky). Its only when Maryse starts losing 'perspective' buoyed past the purchasing power of the greenback and the generally deferential courting of poor locals that she runs into trouble: breaking away from the safe haven of Acapulco to slut and prostitute in search of truthful love in the rather more seedy Mexico City, away from the expat community, she reaches in over her head. Her eloquent, gritty, passionate letters trail this journey a la 'Nights of Cabiria' with horrifying aplomb until the very end, when desiccated by alcohol and dope corruption, she succumbs to a Goodbarrean fate in a dinghy alley off a slum neighbourhood in Mexico City.
Her language is beautiful, and her years and years of reading and studying philosophy gives her HER OWN, which lives brilliantly in this book. And while she is able to dive into the puddle of decadence, she sees herself in total colour and is tormented most daily. The championship of the volume is where the journey takes us, ignited from Shakespeare:
Give sorrow words: the grief that does not speak
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.
--Macbeth
(at that place'south also AN EXCELLENT film based on this volume, directed by, and script written by, and as well STARRING the astonishing Jackie Burroughs! It's called A Winter TAN, but read the book outset. Or read the book second. Either way, make sure you lot sentinel A WINTER TAN, as Burroughs is a genius in her own right in giving usa the most compelling lens on Holder)
Maryse Holder's brusk life was ane of the biggest lives e'er lived. She admits over and over the strength received from the women's movement back in united states of america. This volume of messages was very controversial, especially among American feminists. That's why the introduction by Kate Millet is so important, making clear that this woman, while she may non have chosen her life to be equally other women in the women's movement, chose to live HER life, with HER choices. Kate Millet's defense of the volume is a beautiful introduction.
The sad news is that the book is out of impress. You can either order information technology used, online, OR, order it through your local library. A lot of people FORGET that we have AN Astonishing library arrangement in America which will borrow books from other libraries for yous. Enquire for the Interlibrary Loan Department, or any department in your library will order information technology for you if information technology'south not on the shelf.
This book is worth the trouble of tracking downwardly! I Refuse to let anyone infringe my copy it'south so rare.
Maryse Holder inspired me, continues to inspire me so much that I dedicated my volume Deviant Propulsion to her. She is a true deviant propelling our culture forward!
CAConrad
http://CAConrad.blogspot.com
Maryse Holder was an actual woman, she was actually murdered, presumably by one of the men or boys she so nihilistically and knowingly flung herself onto like an erotic funeral pyre. These are the messages written to her ex-daughter dorsum home, Edith, brimming over with sexual activity and violence and intellect. Kate Millett intros her as "a sister, an adventuress, a ma
On first scanning, I idea this was a soft-focus, gringa poetess fucks animal-beautiful colored boys piece of soul-tourism trash but no, no, noMaryse Holder was an actual woman, she was really murdered, presumably by i of the men or boys she and so nihilistically and knowingly flung herself onto like an erotic funeral pyre. These are the letters written to her ex-daughter dorsum habitation, Edith, brimming over with sex and violence and intellect. Kate Millett intros her as "a sister, an adventuress, a madwoman, daring as an early Henry Miller, self-destructive equally Janis, the vocalisation of Genet in a woman, speaking the purest American." An apt handle, every bit Millett is wont to offer.
...more
Maryse Holder is one of the about contradictory, erratic "characters" e'er to grace the pages of a book, which is mainly due to her being a very educated, intelligent, extremely enlightened human being that acts completely irrationally (there is e'er some logic there, simply the setting is wrong) because of what she considers to be the goal in (her) life: to experience it all, love and longing, even at the expense of her sanity, her well-being. On many occasions I wanted to shout at her: Become a grip!! Exit United mexican states!! Stop harbouring this strange obsession with younger Mexican men! Stop seeing yourself every bit ugly and onetime! You're only 36!! ( But the thing is: She knows it all! She knows how bad this life mode is for her, and she still maintains information technology. Information technology is pretty obvious that drugs, alcohol and medication contribute a lot to her behaviour, her eventual downfall, her not being able to go out of that horrible state of affairs. It's a pretty sad story and I only accept sympathy for her. I hope she establish some peace and contentment in death. ...more than
Catherine A. MacKinnon mentions Holder in 'Sexuality, Pornography, and Method: "Pleasure under Patriarchy",: 'One of the most compelling accounts of agile victim behavior is provided in "Give Sorrow
Words". Holder wrote a woman friend of her daily frantic, and always declining pursuit of men, sexual activity, beauty, and feeling good about herself. "Fuck, fucking, will feel cocky-respect" (p.89). She was murdered shortly after by an unknown assailant.'
Only while facing collossal personal failure and fighting off tragedy past dancing and fucking, Holder manages to be yet funny and rather ruthless in her descriptions, like her brief encounter with a reefer-crazed socialite, who makes her really stoned in her fancy Acapulco penthouse - a wonderful trip. This is the Maryse Holder I vicious in love with and the Maryse Holder I want to remember - happy and inhaling.
P.S.: Tequila contains Mescaline . . .an utterly underrated psychedelic.
...more
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| lies | one | ii | Nov 26, 2014 07:15PM | |
| sesual freedom | 1 | 2 | Jan 29, 2014 08:23AM | |
| sex and revolution | ane | 3 | Oct 23, 2013 10:31AM | |
| sex, sexual dear, prostitution, feminism, travel, hazard | 1 | 2 | Oct 22, 2013 01:14PM | |
| sexual love and feminism | 1 | 2 | Oct 22, 2013 07:22AM | |
| sexuality and feminism | 1 | 3 | October 21, 2013 02:10PM | |
| sexuality and feminism | 1 | 3 | Oct 21, 2013 02:04PM |
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It isn't Mexico. It's not Paris. Information technology'south a painting by Hopper come to life. I am trapped within a dead thing. Linguistic communication is impossible here, even in English. Who has the arrogance to say: I'k mad, this is my crazy view of things, help me.
I'm trapped in a silent globe, a tableau of forty years agone. The walls are different, the tables, the heights of the veiling and the chairs. I loom in a higher place this letter. The view past the rows of cakes in the plate drinking glass window is unfamiliar. I am a ghost. There is nothing now between me and death. Death is the unfamiliarity of everything, the strangeness of the once familiar. The aforementioned spatial configurations only the light is hollow, ill.
I recollect I lack the energy to hit expensive discos which I don't know where they are to be rejected tonight. I await passable. My energy's low. I love to trip the light fantastic toe merely despair is not a proficient muse.
This Mexico, babe. Men who don't dear you but deed wildly as if they do initially. Self-involved, narcissistic men... The men drinkable and philosophize nigh hurting. The women live it solo and culturelessly. No one cries, except hands, sentimentally. The devil, therefore God, exists.
Oaxaca was a pushover compared to this. Hurting had boundaries there.
Spare united states large cities, oh lord!"
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Source: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/257651.Give_Sorrow_Words
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